By Hope O’Rukevbe EGHAGHA
ABUBAKAR: The forthcoming general elections will be war!
DELE: Hmmmmm! War inna Babylon said Bob Marley! Prophet of doom!
ABU: I beg your pardon!
EJINE: Alhaji, you are not saying anything new. Elections in the country have been wartime Nigeria!
OSEME: True. I remember the dialogue between Chief Lejoka-Brown and Okonkwo in Ola Rotimi’s play titled ‘Our Husband Has Gone Mad Again. This play was published in the 1980s, yet it depicted elections with military language. Instead of saying ‘opponents’, the playwright adopts the combative word ‘enemy!
ABU: This one will be different fa!
DELE: You didn’t say this when the man who some threats about baboons and monkeys was in office. During his tenure the country was on auto-pilot. He slept through eight years in Aso Rock, and spent the rest in hospitals in the UK.
ABU: You have gone ethnic again as usual. Must we ethnicize every issue?
DELE: See who is talking! The baba of regional politics himself. My region is marginalized. My region is this…my region is that…
EZINNE: Let us stop being petty. Alhaji, how will 2027 elections be different? Why do you think so? Why are you suggesting that the January 2027 elections will be apocalyptic?
OSEME: I like the word ‘apocalyptic! Very suitable to the situation. Big grammar for a huge national event! Just listen to the sound of the word… a-po-cap-lyp-tic! Sounds like Armageddon! Hahahahahaha!
DELE: I’ve not been able to service my car in the last six months!
EZINNE: Over the bar. What is the link between the forthcoming election and servicing your car?
DELE: Everything my dear, everything!
ABU: The stakes are too high. There are too many desperate powerful persons involved this time around. For them because of age, false and true, this is the last time they can stand for elections. After four years from now, they will be too weak to stand the rigors of electioneering. The serial losers and presidential candidates desperate to defeat an equally desperate incumbent president is a new scenario.
AMAKIRI: I agree with alhaji that the stakes are very high for the reasons he has stated. I also read a very high level of consciousness in the electorate. The Nigerian people will reject any attempt to rig the elections, especially the presidential elections. The way in which the people monitored the Osun state governorship elections is a marker. Despite the heavy presence of the hierarchy of the APC the people defended their votes. That election has given hope to Nigerians.
OSEME: The presidential election will be a different kettle of fish. The desperation of office-seekers will hit the mountain top of the struggle. President Tinubu will fight to the last to retain power. It’s not going to be easy for anyone to dislodge ‘emilokan’ from Aso Rock. He won the 2023 elections when he was out of office. He defeated the machinery of the state that year. Now that he has the instruments of the state under his control, do you think he would allow himself to be pushed out of office? No way!
EJINE: Let me say that 2027 is not 2023! Those who ears, let them hear! The people will defend their votes with their lives. Mark my words!
ABU: Please don’t overrate the Nigerian people. They are too impoverished to sustain any protests. Their leaders can easily compromise once they are invited to the master’s table. They will make a lot of noise on social media. They will grumble. But the politicians will use the judiciary to install losers as winners.
AMAKIRI: This is so disheartening.
ABU: The signs are there already. Peter Obi was physically prevented from visiting Benue state. The powers-that-be tried to use the EFCC against the Osun state government. But for the intervention of Mr. President, they would have succeeded in stealing the Osun vote. We must commend the president for that bold and decisive action.
EJINE: Abegi! Forget that one. No go there at all. It was the pressure from the international community that stopped the EFCC from becoming the national attack dog in Osun. Baba Emilokan wants to be on the same page with the power-levers of the world from ganging up against him. You know the allegations about hard drugs and the president! The optics are not good at all. Not good.
ABU: The hard drug allegations surfaced before and after he won the last elections! It amounted to nothing. Let’s not be carried away by speculations in the media, especially social media. There’s usually an infinite deal of nothing on social media.
AMAKIRI: But US courts are involved this time around. The president’s legal team is blocking the release of details about the case.
BAMIDELE: Correction. It is the FBI and DEA that are stonewalling on the matter. This makes it interesting, doesn’t it? The almighty FBI is fighting in a court of law in America against the release of a supposedly criminal record of our president. Pause for a while. Think. Remember President Manuel Noriega? Remember President Maduro? The American government captured them like rabbits and put them on trial. Why would they be shielding BAT if he was indeed a drug baron?
ABU: He could have been an intelligence agent for America! An asset who is still useful.
DELE: That is palm wine or beer parlour talk jor. All I know is that the drug allegation will vanish in a puff! Who will take my bet on it?
ABU: Nobody will take a bet. We know the capacity of Jagaban. He has disappeared for three weeks into Europe ostensibly on vacation. But for all we know, he could be pulling springs to reach the American authorities.
EJINE: Haba! America is not Nigeria. He cannot influence the judiciary.
AMAKIRI: What is Trump doing with the lower and Supreme Courts?
OSEME: If the Americans protect Jagaban, it is because they still plan to benefit from him.
EJINE: Let us say only things which we are sure of, please. These wild speculations are unbecoming!
EZINNE: Are we sure of anything in this country? Are we sure of Nigeria? Are we sure of the birthdate of our elected ruler? Are we sure the National Assembly is making laws to protect and serve the people? Are we sure of our population? Are we sure the killer herdsmen are not instruments of destruction in the control of politicians? Are we sure of our next meal? What are definitely sure of in this country?
OSEME: Philosophy don enter the matter. Make I add my own. Are we sure of our identities? Are you sure you are the mother or father of your children?
ABU: That is the problem in this country. We were discussing election woes and suddenly somebody introduced philosophy. When can we ever think straight?
OSEME: Nigeria will survive election violence. Let us be confident. If we succumb to chants of war the politicians will jump into their aircraft and disappear into thin air to enjoy their loot.
ABU: Let’s all say ‘NO TO VIOLENCE!
ALL: NO TO VIOLENCE!
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