Open letter to my bank

Ogunsakin Mustapha
4 Min Read
Dame (Dr.) Adaora Umeoji,

By Ibim Semenitari

The Managing Director,

Zenith Bank,

Victoria Island,

Dear Adaora,

It is with excitement and much hope that I welcome you on board as Managing Director/ Chief Executive Officer, Zenith Bank. As one of your customers I am looking forward to great things with you in the driver’s seat.

For starters would be an improved online platform. Trying to make payments using the Zenith bank online platform can sometimes be a nightmare and very often frustrating. Multiple tries after, it is often a hit or miss. Even when you do manage to transfer the recipient may not receive the funds turning one into a liar or artful Dodger. Honestly ma, it is true that I no get money but I get small shame so I don’t pretend to make a payment without doing so. My rule of thumb is, if you cannot afford it, don’t buy. Better thing no dey finish for market. In today’s no cash policy Nigeria, help us beg the IT people to please help a sister.

I don’t want to mention the challenge of applying for a cheque book online and it never being available until you go into the bank and apply in person. Why na?

Cash at Zenith ATM machines too oh. At least in my little corner of the wood. Perhaps life is better for those in the high flying cities of Lagos and Abuja, but for us in the provinces, we have to go to other banks to draw our little savings using our Zenith Bank cards.
But there is more. Make something no force you to travel reach Cotonou or Ghana oh, While in the stores if you manage to get a dollar card so that you can pay for your goods with a little less stress, the card may give up on you and since the money no dey, you may have to stylishly return the goods or find a good Nigeria – Samaritan who understands your agony and is willing to take a chance on you.

My dear MD, I do not want to burden you with my own set of woes now that Nigerians have managed to go past their jaded concept of what a corporate look should be. But let me add one more small request. I am a woman and a very micro business owner. People like me do not stand a chance when it comes to bridging finance or small business trading loans. Not big, big cash for government and multi nationals oh, just small trading capital to survive. I don’t have enough money to have multiple accounts otherwise I might have tried out your other cousins who look favourably upon my kind. I am also a creature of habit but even worse my account officer keeps blackmailing me with such a personable smile and kindness. I suspect that somehow dem don give me witchcraft making it hard to leave.

Anyhow, this so long a letter don dey too long. Consider my plea, help a sister and Biko give me bragging rights because I have already boasted that what the men could not do for me, my new MD and sister will do.

Mbok don’t fall my hand.

Your humble but sincerely frustrated customer.

P/S: Even just now I have been unable to pay for the small custard of garri and custard of rice I bought to cook for Easter. My customer just pitied my condition and released the foodstuff.
Thank you for your kind consideration of my plea.

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