By Tayo Douglas
*Nasir -* Hi Rotimi, good morning. It appears the ovation which had earlier greeted our coalition and the later adoption of a political party some weeks ago has now dimmed to an all time low or what do you think ? Since last week, we have not been able to create any other skit to arouse the public consciousness besides our visits to Daura. Even at that, we were not properly coordinated. How do you explain the turban which you mounted on your head as if you were going for sallah homage, durbar display or any other ceremony? That was quite wrong, mind you. Simple dressing and perhaps in your native attire would have been appropriate.
*Rotimi -* Honestly Nasir, I don’t really understand what is happening again. It seems everything I’ve been saying or doing to curry sympathy or public favour have all turned against me. Imagine what you have just said now ? The other day for instance, my witticisms of *”we are hungry”* and the quip of *”my wife is an industrialist etc.,”* were twisted to a point that I had to run to my pastor to pray for me so that things won’t go out of hand. You can imagine that wicked boy in Abuja telling the whole world about some of my past atrocities in the office as a state Governor. He has even threatened to resign his appointment as a minister if any audit report should prove him wrong.
*Nasir -* Remind me again Rotee, what was the deal about ?
*Rotimi -* That was the monthly N4b which my wife collected at the NDDC for 8 odd years while I was serving as Governor of the state. I have to take it easy ever since this revelation lest this wicked boy *_’kuku empty my yansh’_* completely in the public.
*Alabosi -* That is not enough reason for you to go underground Rotimi. We take the problem as it comes and we also confront the ubiquitous. Honestly, I know our people very well. They would only shout for three days if and when their leaders have committed any unpardonable atrocities and after some weeks they can’t remember anything again. That has been the pattern over the years. To be honest with you guys, I’ve never seen any complacent and stupid people like Nigerians. At any rate, I think Nasir or Dele would have to continue from where you stopped pending when you can again get yourself together.
*Nasir -* Yes, you are very right. First, your observation about Nigerians is very correct. They don’t question their leaders’ atrocities and neither are they bothered by anything. Look, when I was Governor, i did impose my son on thousands of candidates who were vying for the house of rep and nobody challenged the imposition. They have further gone ahead to vote for my son. *_”Abun ba chikenan ba ?”_* You
can also imagine what you and your other *_’mai rigima de maci amana’_* did to your Boss, Asiwaju? Walahi, the day when my everlasting boss, Baba Atiku, told me he visited your place and you assured him that you would be coming on board with us to form the coalition, i felt somehow. In fact I told my boss that he would one day regret the invite extended to you. Im sorry to say this but that is a fact. Let me just mention this to you from the onset. You see, no fulani man will ever trust any betrayer or rely on a traitor. This is because if a traitor can betray his people or benefactor who else can he not kill without looking back ? That is our fulani pulaaku which we hold dear to our hearts. Asiwaju brought you guys from nowhere, dressed you up with very fine robes. He made you guys commisioners for 8 uninterrupted years, he took the heat, blame and abuse from indigenes of the state because none of you is from the state. Finally, Asiwaju respectively made you ingrates a Governor and Vice President for another 8 years. It’s so heart-rending that you guys could not find any other person to betray again in life than this very kindhearted man, *_Asiwaju da Jagaban kowa ? Walahi talahi, you guys may not find peace again in life and in the world hereafter unless you go and ask for the man’s forgiveness. Sai ku tuba a hanu Allah kawai._*
Secondly, you have also suggested that myself or Dele could have held forth till when Rotimi could pick his pieces. It appears you have forgotten that I was once a minister in the same ministry being occupied by that *_’mai matsala ko’ ?_*. What if the rascal dust up the files and start his sabre rattling, where do we go from there ? You chaps seems to have forgotten that we are all in this coalition for different and personal reasons. No matter how you look at it, we are all strange bedfellows. My ambition is to see that the President is not returned to the office come 2027. This is because he has damaged and not just only bruised my ego. *_Walahi sai ramuwa da fansa ni ka yenzu. Kowa da nasa._* He must pay dearly for that embarrassing moment which I faced at the National Assembly.
*Rotimi -* But I learned aunty Ireti was on air this morning alleging that the minister too is not clean. She has accused him of wrongful allocation of several acres of lands to his children and at a ridiculous rate or amount. I think Alabosi alone can pick that up and turn it to big issue for the sake of our propaganda.
*Alabosi -* I’m a bit worried and confused now with what Nasir has just said about myself and my co-conspirator. I think Pitobi should take it up from there and let’s see what he can do besides waiting for accident to happen in either Minna, Bauchi, Ibadan or Sokoto so that he can hold PBAT responsible for the accident. That boy really needs to change his tactics, people are getting fed up with his style.
*Nasir -* Coalition or not, I hate to read about that guy, pitobi. He tell lies effortlessly and those lies are too pedestrian. Anyway politics always bring up all manners of people, including clowns and here we are.
*Rotimi -* We all need to sit down and change our style of propaganda. Name that person in our new party who has not received Wike’s acerbic vitriol and he keeps waxing stronger by the day ? He descended heavily on Dele some few weeks ago and till date, Dele hasn’t got all it takes to remain stable. You can imagine when Dele sent congratulatory message to Muhammed Babangida the moment the chap is announced as the chairman of a federal government agency. Dele even described the appointment as “well deserved.” Not quite 24 hours after the announcement, a fake letter or press release started flying about that Muhammad has rejected the appointment. Dele didn’t wait to verify this press release before he again took to his twitter account praising and applauding Muhammed for refusing a “Greek gift” from our common enemy, PBAT. Now that a new press release has been made, clarifying the true position of the appointment with Muhammed full acceptance of same, how would any reasonable mind describe Dele or would they take him serious again ? Is this not what that rascal has observed in him when he claimed that Dele can eat food and forget his manners ?
*Nasir -* Gentlemen, Baba Atiku would have been waiting for us by now, please let’s move.
Dr Tayo Douglas, Esq is a practicing legal practitioner in Lagos.
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